Saturday, June 7, 2008

Stay out of my paradise, Mr Cheney

I’m not in the woods yet. Although I am actively weaning myself from current events, I inadvertently saw Dick Cheney, Vice President of the United States suggesting, for the sake of humor, that inbreeding was alive and well in Almost Heaven, West Virginia, secret site of my cabin paradise the woods. It was almost as if he knew that I was abandoning all the nonsense he represents and wanted to get in a parting shot. As I was gathering a wad of saliva to fire at the TV I realized that this was not such a bad thing after all. West Virginia and its people have always been the target for disrespectful humor and this perceived negative image has actually helped preserve much of what I find magical about the State. To keep my paradise locked in a time when America was great I would not want people to know that the people there were hard working, self reliant, independent, friendly to a fault and instilled with a morality that bonds its native inhabitants with a trust and honesty long lost in most of Mr. Cheney’s country. I wouldn’t want them to know that its crime rate is traditionally the lowest in the country or that even though it is mostly rural and 75% forest, its location puts it within approximately 500 miles of half the population of the US should one feel the need for company. So, if you have yern'n to malign a hillbilly, please reference the hillbilly as living in West Virginia. I want my paradise to remain a paradise.

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