Randy’s Roasted White Oak Acorn Snacks
1. Find White Oak tree in woods.
2. Spread tarp on ground.
3. Fire shotgun into upper branches of tree until sufficient acorns have been collected.
4. Put acorns in cloth bag and hang in toilet tank for 1 week in three person household, or until water changes from brown to clear again. The cycle of soaking and flushing will remove bitter tannins from acorns.
5. Split shells horizontally with a whack from your favorite skinning knife or machete. Randy suggests you resist the temptation to have you wife or children steady the acorns as you whack.
6. Soak overnight in 3 gallons of lightly salted water. For best flavor use ‘Fleur de Sel’ (Flower of salt)
7. Strain out any oak weevil larvae that may have floated to the surface overnight and drain.
8. Open a can of rendered lard (fatback or better) and use a three fingered scoop to slather on acorns. Make sure the lard fills the slits you previously cut into the shells. Randy note: “Dogs love to lick the lard off your fingers after this step.”
9. Roast at temperature/ time appropriate to heating method.
Oven 450 degrees: 18 minutes
Iron Skillet, medium gas fire: 15 minutes
Campfire embers (enclose acorns in foil ball): About as long as it takes to smoke a Swisher Sweet Double Barrel Rum Outlaw Cigar.
Acetylene torch: 25-35 seconds. Randy Tip: Keep the torch moving.
10. Place finished acorns in serving dish appropriate for the occasion, sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve.
Legal disclaimer: Neither the FDA nor Martha Stewart have approved this recipe for human consumption. Paula Deen had no comment except to say, “Lard…mmmm,yummy!
Ramon’s Wife’s Blackberry Wine Recipe
1. Mix blackberry juice, water, sugar, ethanol and a touch of cinnamon in an old wine bottle.
2. Cork bottle.
3. Shake by hand or place bottle on washing machine during spin cycle.
4. Let stand till the cork blows out.
5. Chill and serve.
Ramon suggestion: Don’t use bottle with screw on top.
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